Jun 9

Jun 9 BLACK LIVES MATTER

I have waited to write this post because I knew I need to do more work to understand white supremacy, white privilege, systemic racism, white fragility and subtle racism.

The deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd and Tony McDade (if you are not familiar with him please read about him here because Black Trans Lives matter too) are unjust and tragic. I’ve found myself asking what I can do to help and how can I affect positive change. The truth is that it should have never taken these events to push me to take action in the first place. The loss of innocent Black people at the hands of the police due to excessive force and racism is nothing new, but it is unacceptable. As a society, we have for too long turned a blind eye.

After reflecting, I realized that I thought that being an ally was a destination that I could arrive at and thought that I had already arrived. I’m grateful for creators sharing on Instagram and Twitter this week what allyship truly is. Being an ally means constantly doing work everyday to better understand, support and defend Black lives.

Beginning my journey as an ally starts with me acknowledging my white privilege and that I have benefited from systemic racism and oppression. The opportunities I’ve received and how I’m treated are due to my white privilege. There are things I will never have to worry abut due to my skin color. Change also starts with me saying that I’m guilty of being racist. In the words of Robin DiAngelo (if you’re a white person in America), “You’re a racist, pure and simple and without a lifetime of conscious effort you always will be.” Saying those words is hard because I feel a sea of guilt and defensiveness. My brain says “wait not me, I’m a good person”. However, I know there are times where I didn’t speak up and I should have. And I haven’t done enough work to be actively anti-racist. Additionally, in my first three years of blogging I piggy backed on the Body Positivity movement for my own personal gain without bothering to research or understand the origins and founders of the movement. Black voices ultimately founded this movement to create space for bodies that are wrongfully marginalized by society and drastically under represented in the media and fashion industry. I promise to continue holding space for the Black voices who created the Body Positive movement. Furthermore, I have not done enough to ensure the brands I feature on my website truly value Black lives and support diversity. This past Sunday, I started by removing all of the Reformation reviews I have written from website due to their failure to create an inclusive work environment and tolerating racist behavior from current employees as reported by Diet Prada and Observer. Lastly, I’m guilty of cultural appropriation I wore cornrows on a number of occasions growing up without understanding the history behind them. I share my past mistakes so that I am transparent. Going forward, I commit myself to understanding the culture and values of the companies that I review and write about. Lastly, I pledge to feature Black bloggers and brands on my website that focus on writing for and serving petite women. I’m starting by sharing a list of amazing women that you should follow below.

From a personal growth perspective, I’m dedicating myself to understanding white privilege, systemic racism and the history of slavery and oppression of Black people in the US. As Sophia Roe put it so well in her recent IG video, it is up to us as white people to not just learn about the history and experience of Black people in our country, but also to learn how we benefit from the existing system. Ultimately, being liberal does not give me an oppression pass (term coined by Christina Blacken) from participating in or perpetuating white supremacy. I have to do the work to understand and dismantle the current system.

Once we understand the system we benefit from, it’s critical that we turn inwards as well. While I was in college I took a few psychology classes (social and cognitive) and that really open my eyes to how our minds work. The way our brains work plays a role in perpetuating racism and upholding the current system. One of the concepts that’s covered in cognitive psychology is stereotypes. According to the APA, stereotypes are “a set of cognitive generalizations (e.g. beliefs, expectations) about the qualities and characteristics of the members of a group or social category. Stereotypes…simplify and expedite perceptions and judgments, but they are often exaggerated, negative rather than positive, and resistant to revision even when perceivers encounter individuals with qualities that are not congruent with the stereotype”. Every one of us uses stereotypes on a daily basis whether we may be consciously aware of it or not. In some cases this process may happen automatically. (This does not let white people off the hook, but serves as a way to make us humble in the process of learning about systemic racism. Furthermore I make this point to emphasize that we have to be extremely vigilant of the thoughts in our own minds.) Ultimately, the use of stereotypes takes a toll on society, especially when they are negative and implicit (aka subconscious) ones.

Often when we think of racism and bigotry (watch this), we think of those who are loud and outspoken about their bias. However, the truth is within us all there exists implicit bias (which is fueled by stereotypes). This implicit bias may not be even apparent to us, which makes it difficult to address. However, awareness is the first step. One way to start gaining awareness of your potential implicit bias is by taking the Implicit Association Test (IAT) for race. This test is made available through Project Implicit, which is non-profit organization that was founded by three university scientists in 1998. I took my test on Saturday June 6th, and I’m making a commitment to myself to continue to take them on regular basis. It’s important to note that the interpretation of results is not definitive proof and the researchers make no claim for validity of the results. However, you can still learn from it. Let’s say after taking the test you understand your implicit preference and you want to change it because you’re not happy with the result. Project Implicit recommends the following strategies:

“(1) One strategy is ensuring that implicit biases don’t leak out in the first place. To do that, you can “blind” yourself from learning a person’s gender, race, etc. when you’re making a decision about them (e.g., having their name removed from the top of a resume). If you only evaluate a person on the things that matter for a decision, then you can’t be swayed by demographic factors.

(2) Another strategy is to compensate for your implicit preferences. For example, if you have an implicit preference for young people you can try to be friendlier toward elderly people.

(3) Although it has not been well-studied outside of the lab, based on what we know about how implicit biases form we also recommend that people consider what gets into their minds in the first place. For example, this could mean going out of your way to watch television programs and movies that portray women and minority group members in positive or counter-stereotypical ways.”

I share this information because I’m passionate about psychology (however I’m definitely not an expert at all) and believe understanding how our minds work can help to combat racism. It’s not THE solution in of itself, but it’s part of the equation.

As Nikki Ogunnaike shared in her recent Instagram post, “dismantling racism and becoming anti-racists is a life long marathon (not a sprint!) as it will continue to shape shift and manifest itself in new ways.” (Watch 13th of Netflix to understand how racism has shape shifted from the time of slavery to the civil rights movement to now.) Essentially we are just at the beginning and while it’s important to take action now we each need to come up with our own game plan to ensure we are allies every day. Additionally, I’m currently reading White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo and listening to How to Be an Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi. Feel free to join me!

Please know as well that I’m here for open dialogue as I know I will make mistakes on my journey. While I tend to be a perfectionist, I know that growth, change, justice and equality are more important than making mistakes or discomfort.